Sample Sunday

"I can't understand the fascination with Stonehenge, anyway. It's just a bunch of stones."

"What? Just a bunch of stones? Have you any idea of how it was constructed, and when? 2500BC. The stones were dragged from Wales. They weigh as much as twenty five tons, for Christ's sake. It's a World Heritage site. Archaeologists have marvelled at its construction for hundreds of years. How can you say it's just a bunch of stones? It's perfectly aligned with the summer and winter solstices. Not to mention its mystical qualities."

"I know all that. It's just that it all looks a bit of a mess. The Egyptians built the pyramids around 2500BC. Three complex structures. Just compare them with our efforts. Stonehenge looks like something a special needs kid has brought in to school. 'Oh, that's nice, Billy. What a good effort. Put it over in the corner, while we look at what Johnny has done with these bricks. Look, at that. Perfect symmetry. And it doesn’t look like it’s about to fall over, either.' Fair enough, it was probably quite an achievement at the time, but we have over nine hundred stone rings in this country – why is Stonehenge so important?”

“It’s iconic. And look at what they did, getting those stones to stand up straight, and then put more of them on top. It’s amazing. Although, it could have been aliens, of course.”

Will nearly choked on his beer. “What? Aliens? You are kidding, right?”

“Not at all. You must have heard the theories about aliens building both the pyramids and Stonehenge. Something about the technology required, the way they are aligned to the sun, the stars and even magnetic north. The theories go that humans wouldn’t have been capable of doing that all those years ago. They would have needed help.”

“OK. Let me get this straight. I’m happy to concede that we probably aren’t the only intelligent life form in the entire universe, and that other species may well have been able to develop intergalactic travel. Quite how they would do it, I’ve no idea, but then if I did have an idea, someone else would have invented deep space travel by now. But let’s assume that aliens on another planet have developed warp speed, or worm holes, or whatever other method sci-fi nerds and theoretical physicists have dreamt up over the years. Not only have they developed this form of travel, but they have also been able to pinpoint Earth as having life and a fledgling form of civilisation. In Egypt, anyway. What it was like in ancient Britain I’m not sure. So, anyway, they turn up on our planet and find humans. Let’s help them, they decide. We won’t wipe them out and colonise their planet, we’ll give them some knowledge. So, what do they give us? Nuclear fusion? Electricity? The concept of ‘zero’? Perhaps the internal combustion engine? No, they decide it would be far more important to show us how to build a structure that has four sides along the base, and then tapers up to a point at the top. Brilliant. And then, as if that wasn’t enough, they also travel to another part of the planet and get some other poor suckers to drag a bunch of stones a hundred miles or so, and then just scatter them around a bit. They’re not even laid out neatly. I guess they must have been keen to get back home by then, and couldn’t be bothered to do a decent job.”

“Maybe it was two separate groups of aliens and they weren’t connected at all.”

“Right. So two unconnected space craft arrive within a few hundred years of each other, build two independent and separate structures, and then disappear, never to be seen again?”

“Well, maybe one was built by aliens, and the other not. I don’t know.”

Will was beginning to enjoy himself. “OK. Here’s a thought. Maybe there was a leader, who decided to test two of his subordinates. ‘Right, I want you both to build a structure that will be standing for many years to come. I’m going to put you as far away from each other as possible, so there can be no cheating. Billy, I’ve found a nice little island for you. The inhabitants aren’t too advanced, really, so you may need to try and educate them a little, maybe teach them about the stars and stuff. Johnny, you can go to the desert. There’s a lovely bunch of people there, almost civilised, and they have a large number of slaves you can put to good use. Of course, they don’t know anything about electricity, or space travel, but we don’t want to blow their minds, so keep it simple. I think they’ve already got the wheel, so that should do for now. Right then, off you go. Try and have it all done in twenty years, can you? You know what my wife’s like if I don’t get back when I say I will.’ ”